Stupid jokes

-TATAY: mula ngayon walang magsasalita ng ingles.. ang sinumang magpa dugo ng ilong ko at sa nanay nyo, palalayasin sa pamamahay na to ! klaro ba ?

ANAK: ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw,

sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunam-gunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran..

tatalikdan ang matatayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingian,

bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban..

TATAY: (tulala)

,mas dumugo il0ng..hahaha

-san mo ginastos ung pera?!

Tatay: Oh anak, musta pageenroll mo?

Anak: Hindi po ako nakapag enroll tay. Nagastos ko
pera.

Tatay: Ha?! Saan??Anong ginawa mo sa pera?? Hindi mo
ba alam kung gaano nalang paghihirap namin ng nanay mo para lang makapagenroll
ka??! Para lang makakuha ka ng diploma!! Anong ginawa mo
sa pera!!?

Anak: Pinambili ko po ng diploma Tay.
Eto oh. :)

-Maging pogi

boy1: pre, ang hirap talagang pogi noh... tsktsk...
boy2: oo nga pre eh, BUTI DI MO NARANASAN!!!!!!

JUAN AT PEDRO SUPER JOKE

PEDRO: pareng juan balita ko ang sweet at ang saya saya nyo ng misis mo kahapon sa dagat?nag tatabunan padaw kayo ng buhangin?
JUAN: oo nga pare eh.. teka alis muna ko
PEDRO:oh teka pre bakit may dala kang pala san ka pupunta?
JUAN:sa dagat hahanapin ko misis ko,hangang ngayon diko pa makita eh = )

LOVE?

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

I cant understand

Whats going on with my life, I can't understand why I'm like this, I know that I am the only person who can help myself, If I can only turn back time I would do things right.

I would stop the bad things I'm doing.

Since its new year I would try to live a new life, from now on I would study hard and try to get higher grades

hahahahahahahaha.